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Tuesday, January 21, 2014

a beach diary january 1-20

i decided i didn't want to keep a diary this year, but i do want to track the time i spend at sea dream. we came over in novemeber, headed home on the 20th. it was our most trying time... we lost 2 pets, our 17 year old kitty passed in early december, just a few days later we learned maggie was terminally ill, the vet didn't understand how she was even alive with her blood work. of course the holidays were marred, never knowing how to proceed, do we put her down, or wait for the catastrophic results. i was told it would be sudden and acute, messy with blood too...

it was hard to be merry with all this worry hanging over our heads, although the tears flowed endlessly for the month, we still managed some wonderful memories with her. she passed a week into january, a sad start to the new year, but so many joyful memories will linger on forever. cassie, and i, have been heartbroken, she misses her pack so very much.

the heartache still continues on, i have been desperately trying to rescue a new border collie, its been as painful as watching maggie die. i could expound for hours about how horrific this experience has been, but for now i want to leave that in the past, my heart has finally toughened up enough to keep putting our name in the hat for that magic dog that never seems to be destined for me.

for the first time in my life i may buy a dog, rather than rescue. the competition for whatever i choose is truly revolting to me. BUT, i can console myself after reading some of the ads placed on craiglist, personally, for me, buying a dog there does feel like a rescue for too many unwanted animals...

i was frantic to find a new dog while at the beach, but now that i am home i overwhelmed with trying to organize this house after my lengthy absences. perhaps that is why the dogs keep slipping through my fingers, everything will happen at the right time after all, i am sure i will find our perfect girl at the perfect time...

with maggie being ill for so long we had stopped hiking since spring, i never wanted to leave her home, it was bittersweet to be able to bust loose again in the great outdoors. i will say i am stunned at the lack of rain, hills that should be lush and green now are as barren as a hot summers day. despite the off colors there was still some stunning scenery on our many outings this month. it had been in the mid 70s at the beach for weeks, suppose to be 80 degrees here at home tomorrow~