Tuesday, August 20, 2013

a beach diary 8/6 thru 8/18

8/6 tuesday

was a decent dappled day by the sea, but i had to tend to bills for the greater part of the day. with my head to the grindstone time flew by. with more than 1/2 the day gone i decided to take a breather in the fresh air and let mr nick out with me while i snapped some pics of my latest craft projects. he had a great time wandering around, peace of mind for me that the feral was safely locked away in my study and would not be caught up in some horrid cat fight with him. too bad i didn't fair as well...

i was carrying crates out to take their pics, so i would know what i had completed, when i decided to carry 2 out at one time... big mistake, i bumped the umbrella pole which caused me to bounce off to the right and fall off the deck onto a set of stairs, smashing my knee, breaking a new completed crate and staining my hand a lovely shade of moss green streaked right of the deck. its a miracle i didn't keep rolling right down to the sea :-( just this weekend scott took a fall when he stood on the tall truck bumper in socks that caused him to slip off and do a body roll onto the grass missing the pavement by inches. the neighbors must be enjoying all these very public tumbles, we must look like a senior pratfall school, but i am grateful i didn't break anything but a piece of wood and my pride.

with my head in the clouds after the numbers game all day, and my body bent and bruised, i ending up sifting through photos for the month and filled my diary in in the afternoon. while plunked down i watched a kite fly above my eye level from the beach, that string had to be at least 600 feet high.

todays the big day, getting prepped to take 2 ferals in for spaying tomorrow. i won't lie, i am a nervous wreck, the mother has to enter the live cage or i am sunk... i can't get near her, the kittens i can handle, the mother is a nightmare. scott built the huge cage for the kittens, they will be popped in for the night and then food put in the trap to catch her for the 6:30 am departure manana.

i did laundry for 10 hours straight washing everything in sight in that room and remaking the bed after all the messes. they are doing me a favor allowing me to come to their incredibly cheap clinic, but they are very strict and i feel like one wrong step and they will turn me away or chastise me endlessly...

scott arrived to a home cooked meal he is always missing now. the scary part is he said he could smell dinner in the driveway. with no open windows how is that possible?!

trap set at 10 pm, at 10:01 she was locked in for the night, all is good! moved her covered cage next to her babies and left a window so they could see each other, it was like visitors day at the prison, they had their paws up on the wire...

8/7 wed

well the big day is here, out the door at 6:30, what i have been so worried about worked like a dream, the mother and kitten went in for spaying, they didn't make a peep coming or going. peace at last, 2 kittens to go next week.

while waiting for scott, sitting in the car to go, a flock of white pelicans flew by. only seen that twice since i have been her, my favorite birds, a good omen~ on the way over my cell phone dinged i had an email, stella was wishing us all well, how sweet she was up to think of us all heading away.

the place was amazing, i started to choke up with tears, its located in a warehouse, live traps only stacked on tables and surgeries performed like an assembly line in the open. they did 43 the last wed, over 70 the week before. there were several men dropping off cages, they seemed to know them, scott wondered if the seniors were trapping them for something to do in their old age, i whipped around and said WE ARE SENIORS!

it just broke my heart all these animals fending for themselves.. this place does complete one stop shopping for a chance at life, and for stopping MORE lives, but being dumped back where they are caught is all their futures offer, i had tears in my eyes when i got back in the car...

but that didn't stop us from going out to breakfast! we had passed an ihop, scotts real reason for even taking them in was to have breakfast in town ;-) i have to say i really like the menu at ihop... i have to say the people eating in them scare me... except at home, its located right off the freeway, on whats called hamburger hill, a quick on and off exit for fast food for people traveling to the sierras to grab a fast meal.

this place is for locals... and oy they do give me the willies... the old, downtrodden and infirmed are number one, then the obese, which includes me, but they look scarier at other tables... an elderly couple shuffled in and sat next to us. the man looked like santa wasting away, huge beard, no frame under it. his wife may have been a stroke victim. the bottom line is what i saw was pure love and it warmed my heart, but it also ruined my appetite... he stood up and began combing her hair at the table, not 1 foot from scotts neck, perfect for at home, lousy for public dining. we left quickly, as i glanced back he was standing up buttering her pancake stack. it was sweet, but again, hard to swallow at the same time...

as we walk to the car there was a giant 6'6 obese senior leaning on a cane right at our car, he wouldn't even budge, took the entire sidewalk, i stumbled off the curb trying to avoid him and twisted the knee i fell on the day before. he stares at us getting in the car with kind of a mice and men look that gave me the willies, as we hit reverse he quickly ambles in to eat... too stephen king for me!

on to more fun for us! next stop is the salvage yard again, i want to get more crates, especially since i broke one... this place has a carefree pricing structure, depending on your car, clothes, rings, attitude... the first time we went the guy looks at me and says they start at 6 and go to 25 depending on the design... there must be 300 of them scattered around, these are the original fruit crates from the 1930s, they have been stuck in a pigeon coop for many many decades, as in covered with %^&$! i soaked the first batch in bleach and scrubbed them, still not sure if we will survive a true harvest, but at least i tried.

since i had already bought 3, i have been researching labels online, today i was hooked and started to paw thru them all because i had seen almost every single label online. they are all torn and tattered and in shambles, but it was exciting to see a real piece of amerciana. i settled on 4. i want to use them to harvest citrus at home, then haul it all over here to eat this winter.

next stop homegoods, i hadn't been since the grand opening. i was disappointed, barren shelves and nothing new since i had been there, i miss my store at home! i did get a dog bed that matched my pillow and blanket with tan starfish, i think the dogs should have sea dreams too~

we came back to decent day trying to break out of the fog. i immediately wanted to wash my crates, scott did a little fixing up of them for me and i let nick out to enjoy the time with me.

scott has been missing tv, since we spend so much time here, that he wants to get direct tv... that means we had to zip down and get a post office box, which is free, since they have no home delivery. can you imagine anything free now a days? i had no proof of where we lived, no bills come here and they were not going to budge, luckily i have been enjoying my amazon prime and sent scott home for an old box, bingo, we now are a proud new box owner, its feeling more and more like HOME!

we were just debating about what time we had to leave to go to pick up the cats when they called and said they were ready now. off we dashed, after a quick refill from costco. we picked up 2 very alert girls, the mother weighs only 7 pounds, she is such a tiny cat, her kitten weighed 3. brought them home and reunited them all in the big cage, the purring sounded like a lion, loudest thing i have ever heard. we both slept so well, me because all the worry was over, the mother is spayed, scott, because he is always exhausted!

8/8 thursday

i woke up at 3am feeling totally rested, scott would be getting up in 45' so i just stayed up for the day. needless to say its always foggy here unless i say different, which means all the days merge into one big long gray mass, hard to tell night from day, weekday from weekend, summer from winter. i have been trying to avoid the computer, time stacks up so easily and i want to finish 11-22-63, its almost 900 pages which is like 3 books, i didn't get to read for 2 nights, today is the day!

while its still the middle of the night i start to research 2 of the crate labels i have. that can take hours, i just get lost in things easily... i looked at 2500 hundred labels before i found what i was looking for, i found one website i think that has every label ever made, still not mine, but they had the design, which leads me to believe in the olden days they just bought the artwork and multiple companies had their company logo custom printed. as luck would have it the orange label site had 2003 labels, 55 pages of 30 pics per page, i found mine on page 53, HOURS LATER! i did enjoy the research.

i spent the morning in the fog outside reading with a pot of tea, mr nick and maggie. she is still painfully slow, i thought the fresh air would do her good. by late afternoon i needed a nap... 3am is not an easy hour to last all day...

i slept with the ferals, they were all locked in the cage, the purring was deafening.

8/9 friday

i can see the low tide i love, i miss taking the girls when its like this, but maggie is just not rebounding and she still has stitches... todays walk she just wouldn't leave the pavement, the hillside is still too much for her, but she had bit more spring on the way down, pokey as ever walking back...

today was a no computer day until i finished my book. i was at 50%, i still had 479 pages to read and today was the day to get it done. i really loved the book, i will miss everyone so much... finished up in the afternoon, spent a chunk of the day with the kittens, let the 2 that haven't had surgery yet run and play in the room, i will tuck them back in with mommy at night to nurse. the little spayed female kitten i am holding off releasing until tomorrow, she is the most feral and i am not sure i could get back in the cage again... but kittens need to run and play! they have been eyeing my drapes, i am waiting to hear that come crashing down. one is biting my wiggling toes right now!

scott called and is in napa, wants to go out to dinner. the dogs haven't been walked, the fog is so thick there are huge fat raindrops on the window, not even the thin mist, its globs of water falling~

played online until scott arrived, then it was a mad dash to the cafe before closing. home and to bed for us, scott slept instantly, i started a new book.

8/10 sat

foggy morn, but we have plans to visit the gravenstein apple fair which should be in the sun. our second fair ever, lavender was fun, what the heck, i have seen this apple fair sign since i was a little girl, time to try it out. they now hold it in a public park, it must have gotten so big. i made scott stop at an apple orchard i have always admired, i trudged through the soil to find the matching farmhouse, the soil was pure sandly loam, so unlike our clay at home, this is straight from the bottom of the sea kind of perfect soil.

i left my camera in the car on purpose, i have come to ask the farmer if i can shoot a picnic in his orchard next wednesday when we take the 2 kittens for spaying. the farmers is off at the farmers market in sf on the pier, gravensteins are famous this way, he should sell out, the apples are GORGEOUS right now. the girl selling apples on site is his neighbor, she owns the orchard across the street which lacks a place to pull over and park. she gave me her number and said she would ask him, i will call back tomorrow for approval. the trees are gorgeous, clear sandy soil beneath with mounds of apples rotting on the ground, the trees are so heavily laden, its picking season, but this orchard isn't slated right now, they are picking his across the street. i asked if he said no could i use hers, but its 100% weeds waist high and they are picking hers now, loads of farm hands, huge crates, tractors, not really where i want to play, i want this guys land~

while walking thru the loam i tweaked my whole back, i even felt organs mush as i took her number... the soil was so soft i realigned my body in a negative way. i could barely get in the car. we missed the turn to the fair because i was facing the window at an angle to cut the pain, scott screeched at me if you are to crooked to give directions, lets just go home. we arrive and our parks pass is not allowed, we have to pay for parking and an entrance fee. we had enjoyed the lavender i thought this will be fun with apples...

wrong... the funnest part was the first 2 seconds in line to get in...

WHERE ARE THE APPLES??? its not about apples, its some hokey "craft" fair, if you want to be generous, like the solar selling booth, or the nursery, which i will say was ADORABLE...

but mostly is was hokey and all the hippie dippie crap i haven't seen since the 60s :-( so disappointed, 27 bucks to walk around and look at crap i would never ever want to walk around for free... the minute we walked in, before we knew what a huge error we made, scott belined for the old farm equipment, and i found a crate label booth right next door. its so ironic, or fate, that this week i have been researching 1000s of labels and HERE IS THE REAL MCCOY!

the man was tall, thin and wearing a full on 60s beatle hair cut wig/toupee... it was sad, i thought maybe cancer. he was so kind and helpful, i learned so much about labels since i knew nothing until i started researching designs just this week. he told me they were pasted perfectly on one side only so that the grocery stores had them facing the customers, he said if the label was damaged one bit people wouldn't buy fruit, assuming it too was damaged.

i asked how he got these pristine labels from the 30s-50s, he said he collected them from the farmers/growers himself. i had been researching my 2 designs and i asked if he had them, he said one was very rare, fun learning these tidbits. he said if growers didn't have much money they would buy premade designs and then custom their names as i suspected. i asked how so many are still floating around from so many years ago, he said say sunkist ordered 70,000 labels for lemons to be shipped across the country and then that year they have a big freeze, suddenly they are sitting on 1000s of extra labels that would just get tucked away in barns etc unused. he said many get lost to fires, he was working on a large order and the barn burned down and all was lost.

i just bought common cheap ones, i am using them for my antique fruit crates, how authentic to have old meet old. he said the uglier ones bring the most money since most people passed them up, from buyers to sellers, now everyone is clamoring to get them since they are the rarest. he said they have gone for several 100s of the 1000s for the most rare.

i don't need to pick up any new hobbies, but i really enjoyed grabbing a fistful of those that appealed to me and didn't break our backs financially. remember my plan is to really use these to collect fruit, not as an investment. too bad he didn't take plastic or i would have tripled my purchase, they really are beautiful pieces of art in and of themselves.

with the fair a total bust, scott refuses to eat street food, and looking at a bunch of crap you would never want or need in a lifetime, we left very quickly. we stopped back by the girl whose neighbor i am waiting on and i bought a 40 pound box of gravenstein apples. i will be busy this week!

went out to lunch at our old stomping ground that changed hands and went way south. it was ok, still not sure if i would go back, but scott was to hungry to drive home. we shared teriaki chicken and portabella caramelized onions burgers.

home in the late afternoon and i was instantly putting my new labels on crates. i am hopeful my crates will be making a public appearance in an orchard soon :-)

8/11 sunday

ditto ditto ditto = fog fog fog. scott was out nice and early working on the garage split, he got the wall up and the door hung, even managed to reuse some of barbs old cabinets from chicago. its hard work for him since the garage is filled sky high he can barely turn, hopefully everything will find its place.

made delish eggs and 2 puff pastry desserts. holding off on the apples until i can take some pics playing.

read the day away mostly. stressed out over some info i learned about a friends health, i keep playing it over and over in my mind, saddens me so much...

had to scold my neighbor about leaving her garage door open when gone, i was doing laundry and looked out my window to see a car park in front of her property. i kept doing my thing and noticed the car never drove off... i step outside to see 2 men in black throwing a baseball on her property, i screamed this is private property, they said sorry and i figured they would be leaving. wait a few minutes and there were still there... i stood starring and finally they drove off, rather odd you would just pull over a car by an empty open garage, be dressed like a cagey burglars all in black and start to play ball on someones lawn on a PRIVATE STREET. i told her the story, she watches lots of crime shows, i am pretty sure i scared her straight! she shared her delicious blueberry cinnamon sauce for ice cream, i gave some of an asian pear tart.

scott worked long and hard, took a shower and promptly dozed off before his drive back home, with cassie in tow to get her rabies shot. i hate when he leaves, but he is back monday thru thursday, so it will be a good week.

8/12 monday

was a terrible night and i am feeling for the first time ever at sea dream depressed... the feral and her kittens have been vomiting with diarrhea since 1 am. i was up doing laundry all night, the only good news is that at least i know its round worms, they have been throwing up a belly full, the bad news is the mother is so feral i can't treat her...

i will have to find a way to get her back in a live trap and off to the vets, the kittens will suffer until she is treated since they are nursing... i have had no sleep and just feel so disheartened, they all need good homes, i have no plan, i just take one day at time, first square them away with shots and fixings, then take the next step. getting sick has undone me, the 2 kittens are to be fixed this wed, now they are ill, a monkey wrench to say the least.

called a vet clinic to see if they would work with me for a feral package on the kittens, then i could bring them all in for treatment, it will cost me a fortune if i don't use the forgotten felines, but i am feeling up against a wall, worried, exhausted... and to top off the pet woes, maggie is still lame, even with pain pills she is like a banana slug at the races. its like she is a 17 year old dog, head down and broken, sadly i feel as down as she and kittens today...

felt a bit cheered up this morn when the mother deer that looked so ill seems to be almost 100%. her baby is so small i just gave them some bread. she must have had some blunt trauma to her mouth, it was swollen so thick she couldn't chew, but now she is alert and the swelling is way down, her jaw looks a bit crooked, but nothing like she did when she first just stood her looking like her days were not long. i like happy endings, its very uplifting to ones soul~

things are going well for scotts change, some evidence has appeared :-)

the mother feral is so sick i have talked to a vet clinic up the coast. i will skip the oodles of call details, but finally they agreed to an appointment for one kitten only tomorrow. oh joy, just what scott wants, 2 days doing vet calls...

scott arrived for a couple of nights, i am stressed, but relieved he his here. made our favorite dinner, ina's parmesan chicken. odd to eat it here, its so cold, this is a summer dish with the bright tang of lemon salad, here it feels wrong to eat in winter/summer.

8/13 tuesday

this has been a horrid day. so much trouble with 4 sick cats, as a new vet client, with a feral cat, the interest level is low, my frustration is high. the mother has been ill since saturday, she MUST get to a vet, i have been dinked around all day and told flat out no to the place i had an appointment, they would see one kitten only, NOT the mother.

i canceled on them, made many calls, we ended up driving to town 3 times today, town is 40 minutes one way, NOT how you want to spend a day off. we went to a feed store to try and get the worming meds, they had another brand, not good enough we later learn...

FINALLY, at 3 pm i got a referral to a vet hospital that told me to come on down at 4pm, they would sedate her and do EVERYTHING I ASKED FOR! with the kind of day and dancing around i had done, with at least a dozens calls, to a fistful of places, you have no idea what that meant to me... PLUS, they were fantastic, they have fabulous long hours, from 7:30 am until 8:00 pm. they gave us a quote $8 higher then i guessed, BUT the bill was 30% less when we picked her up. thank god she got the care she needed, i still have to take the 2 kittens in for fixing at 6:30 am tomorrow.

the day was so stressful i ate a sleeve of oreos for dinner and got in bed before the sunset... scott went to pick her up and had to wait an hour to get her they were SO busy. i have to say with as many places as i have called the last week trying to take care of these 4 ferals, i can tell you vet practices are thriving and so busy they can't keep up with all their clients and aren't too worried about adding more. i am just thrilled we finally found vet care 35 minutes from us that we can rely on in the future. they were so kind and gave us free meds too, it was a good way to end a very pet tumultuous day...


well i thought yesterday was bad, today was worse... up at 6 to get the kittens ready for their hour drive over. i have a huge cage they are all in that i can split in half. i had the 3 kittens on one side, the mother on the other with the board in place. the mother hasn't been able to eat for days, i put a plate of baby food down for her, the kittens should not have food or water 10 hours before surgery. we get ready bring in the live traps and scott says someone ate all the baby food. someone i say, its only the mother there, he says no, there is a kitten there too.


i mean the worst fight we have had in years, he accuses me of being irresponsible for locking the kitten with mother and food, I DID NOT LOCK THE KITTEN IN. ok i will just say it was horrid, endless screaming and tears, sea dream is officially real life today, i am sure the coast guard heard me going crazy, maybe even nasa... the divider had snagged on a rug, he was able to push his way through to the food. so now i think i have to get another freakin appointment one week away and i am falling apart, not to mention scott doesn't believe me. i have been separated from my husband dealing with these creatures for 3 weeks, i miss my home, pets, garden, sun, today was just pushing me over the edge...

i call to see if i can still bring him, they don't answer, hell he is going... get there after sobbing in the car still and when we walk in they couldn't have cared less. NO PROBLEM THEY SAY! the whole fight for naught...

we went out for pancakes after...

meanwhile, i had planned to do a photo session in an apple orchard... with the day before so stressful, and i wasn't home a good 12 hours, i didn't make the picnic i had planned... i had the farmers permission to play in his orchard, he had already starting picking for market, it was this week or never. i was still freaked out from the morning fight, but by the time i stopped to pick fresh dill and queen annes lace i was more in my element. landing in an orchard dripping in fruit really restored my soul. i am a garden girl at heart, nothing heals me like nature. the only sound was of fruit thumping to the ground. i wanted to fill my antique crates with the gravensteins, it was too perfect of a moment to miss...

i spent about and hour playing, scott was bored out of his mind since cell reception was dicey and he forgot a book...

came home to glorious full on sunshine... but we are tethered, last time they called us at 3 to pick them up now, it was to have been 5-6, but they were early and wanted to go home, we are an hour away... they called 3 times! i hated to waste a sunny day, but i was also emotionally exhausted, my eyes swell when i cry, takes 24 hours to heal, plus sun makes them even worse, bottom line is i had to waste this gorgeous sunny day taking a nap... i didn't sleep well expecting them to call the entire time, but we did pass out for a good 3 hours.

we head back out at 4 to be there at the 5 pm pick up. we lose cell service on the way over, 15' from their location i get a message saying one cat is ready, the other might be at 6:30... there is no frickin way i am killing 90 minutes in town, my eyes are near swollen shut, we are burnt out exhausted, it was 45 degrees at the coast, pure fog and wind when we left, it is 93 in town, i am in jeans and layers of long sleeve sweaters, i will pass out any minute in the heat. i speak to a real bitch, i had talked to her 2 times before, she IS a bitch, i thought it was the organization, but its HER. i tell her we have an hour drive i am not worried about the kitten i can handle her, she treats me like &^%$ telling me how its going to be and i can just sit there for 90 minutes.


the minute i walk in i ask for who is in charge, i am going to be on a TEAR... the sweetest woman comes out apologizing saying we had some critical problems in surgeries today and we got so far behind, one kitten was done at 11, the female was done at 4:45. she was happy to let me take my cat, told me scads of things to watch out for, etc., absolutely DELIGHTFUL.

we left happy as a bee, i ran back and gave her a cash donation to pay it forward for 2 more felines. what a difference a personality can make, that woman on the phone made me think the entire place was rigid, inflexible, dictatorial. i am OBVIOUSLY a pet person, i know more than your average bear, but she was a bully and a bitch and i think she is doing a huge disservice for their name.

came home to the sun slipping under the fog. i had brought home barrels full of rotting apples to give to the deer, i cut up one basket and watched the herds come though snacking.

scott made a delish dinner, we had butternut ravioli with italian sausage, apples, cinnamon and sage. it was fabulous! took the dogs down as the sun set to the headlands, but the cattle were laying at the gate. we stood around the culdesac wating for them to potty, no walk for us in the pastures...

just trying to stay up until 10 so i can release the little girl back to her mommy. i so look forward to tomorrow, poor scott leaves before 4am, and i plan to do nothing, go nowhere and just hope these animals all hurry up and heal and get healthy~

8/15 thursday

barely remember scott leaving, the only benefit of crying for me is a guaranteed heavy nights sleep after. i woke up at 5:30 having a nightmare, second night in a row. this one was weird, i could figure out the nights before, but last night took place in vegas and some global horrid stuff was coming down, i kept telling everyone to flee, but then i got trapped. creepie!

when in the kitchen first thing i could see a huge buck circling the wagon with the apples, he couldn't reach in, they had eaten so many only a dozen were left and unattainable. in the heavy fog i could only see maybe 50', again i am dressed like an old fat hooker, but this time i am outside holding a very sharp shiny knife so i can cut up the apples...

the BIG buck didn't want to back off as i came to the cart, he wanted his food. i never fear wildlife until they lose their velvet and have the huge points, then they are unpredictable... i am trying to keep the cart between us and worried since i am holding a very sharp knife if one of us will get injured :-( he finally backs off maybe 10' and i start to cut up the last of the apples, mindful of him the entire time.

as i am cutting i hear click click click, i turn around and in the dense fog not 50' from me two males are sparring. i am between 3 males and maybe 30' from the house. i threw an apple at them to break up the fight, later when watering, i see they broke up 2 of my shrubs. just a thrill a minute here, all before 6 am!

the kittens look great post surgery. not sure if the mother is eating yet, but the babies are alert. i made most likely a stupid choice and set the kittens free. scott tells me if she didn't feel well she wouldn't play. good idea i think and i head out to water and walk the dogs and mr nick. i am out for a few hours, able to peer through the window to see all looks well indoors with the kittens. visited with stella and suddenly its 1 pm and i have not even made the bed or eaten! ok thats a lie, i had oreos at 5:30 am to wipe away the nightmare :-)

i come in to check the kittens and my favorite little girl is passed out on the cage with her mother below her. she isn't moving as i come in and can stroke her... oy, now i fear she is in trouble from running and playing, she is so tired she isn't running from me... i put her in the cage and can pick up her brother too, again, not a normal sign... the last girl fought like crazy, thats normal, she had surgery a week ago. they are in and my little girl conks out instantly. now i am worried i broke her :-(

i keep checking and she keeps sleeping, finally at 4pm she is awake and ready to eat, phew i was so fearful for this little girl, because i have officially come up with some names for them now that i know what they are. i was trying to be detached, i don't know what their future is, but i am smitten to much with one, and frankly another one really needs her mommy... oy, forget the future, for this very moment i am naming the mother merry, i first found her at christmas time, merry christmas merry, or how about mother merry talk to me, or merry merry she sells sea shells by the seashore. i always name my cats by their circumstances.

the brother and sister kittens, that are wild and best buddies, full of energy, are halley and comet, an easy one to visualize, they were streaking across the night sky on the lawn in the dark making me very nervous with their bright white coats. the scared little girl is annie, as in orphan annie, she was the lost one for 2 days, she is tiny and fearful, this little orphan truly needs her mommy, she is the most feral of them all. finally i can at least teach scott who i am talking about, i have been saying the little ones for so long he had no idea what i was talking about, to him they are all the same. he was afraid i would take one already spayed in again, LIKE A MOTHER DOESN'T KNOW HER BABIES!

spent the day on auto pilot doing very little... was going to cook up all the gazillion of apples i have to work with, but i am just skating by today, frankly i need about 12 hours of sleep tonight to feel good to start all over again manana, just been to pet stressed out these last few days to want to be creative or calm enough to start a new book.

as i type this out my window 4 deer and butting heads, TIS THE SEASON! worst of all i catch the buck slicing my shrub to smithereens...

also noticed a new behavior, 2 bucks bathing each other for like a full 10 minutes. must be some gland there?

took the dogs for their walk at 6:30, it could have been midnight the fog was so engulfing. there were 6 bucks on the grass, i was a little worried they might group challenge the dogs and i, but they eventually made a run for it. my normal walk had a bicyclist in neon green go by, i was lucky he was so bright to know he was there, one minute you see them, the next its total white out and silent.

the deer ate 40 pounds of apples in less then 24 hours, the herds were so thick on our walk i had to tether up cassie. with thick fog you stumble right up to them, no warning for them to bolt away as we quietly take our walk.

peaceful night, time to start a new book and sleep in the ferals room. was able to pet halley and comet, surgery has made them so lethargic i can reach right in and stroke their fur, they don't even move, mother merry and annie are instantly gone. 50% improvement works for me, but will it hold for manana?

8/16 friday

stayed the night in with the ferals, they are definitely getting better, they are all eating again and no vomiting, YIPPEE FOR ME! was pretty worried for the mama, to come this far and her die in my care was a reality until she got in to the vets again. meds are all working.

still rather lethargic, been such a tumultuous week, scott is waiting for a call back that will make big changes in our life. i just feel emotionally bruised after being apart for so long, a huge fight, so much fur, being gone for a month more then i expected, living with no sign of the sun, and usually only a 100' radius at best for my line of sight, its just taken its toll on me.

i should be baking like mad all my apples, but thats the creative side of me and frankly its dead right now... started a new book, the boys in the boat, about a rowing team from washington that won the olympics in berlin in 36. such a heartbreaking family story i think who am i to be feeling down... ever. i read a post on a blog i had followed sometime ago, a young woman with stage 4 cancer, it brings me to tears every time she posts. i have no right to feel even off when i see the courage this woman faces every minute of her life. if you ever want to snap yourself out of your pity party take a look at those in real dire positions and if they can be upbeat, why can't you!

whenever i get down, i think of a very dear neighbor that died, i adored her, she was the happiest sweetest person i had ever known. she had a back ache giving her trouble, the pain wouldn't go away, for months. finally on a whim they did an xray and she had lung cancer, never smoked in her life... i have never forgotten when we visited her at home, she was wiggling her toes under the cover, still laughing and smiling, something about her toes has stuck in my brain ever since, when i get undone, sad, nervous, i see margaret wiggling her toes as she faced her death, still smiling... it puts things into perspective for me.

i don't know how, but the fog is getting thicker and thicker. i retreated to the kittens and set them free while i read. i had a kitty fishing pole with a mousey dangling over their heads, frankly its irresistible to them. as i read, they pounced all over me, the feralness is waning for haley and comet, soon haley was asleep in my lap and i was reading like one big normal family.

the dogs walk was scary, it was like i could barely tell where to plant my feet in the heavy fog, we were sopping wet the minute we stepped out the door. tina and kim are back, as i shuffled by their house i got a start thinking a man was lurking in the fog, just his wet suit drying. drying? get real, soaking in the foggy air... plus how would he even know there was surf, perhaps its not foggy down below...

scott arrived dressed in shorts, what world did he come from? he was tan and happy, i look like a fish wife that has been dragged one to many times in the net. he was extra happy because someone gifted him with 10 pounds of 49er hot dogs.

we went to bed right after a late dinner, i read, of course he slept like a log~

8/17/ saturday

we are right on the fog line, i can see blue behind the house, nothing out front, it surely will break out today, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! is so quiet here, no rentals in sight up and down the street. ahhhhhhhhh heavy sign of contentment. soon all the people will clear out and the next few seasons will be always be like this.

the morning was so wonderful we took the dogs to the headland... oh my, this is why i so love it here. finally it feels like the place i cherish, i have been so busy with life i missed all the specialness of this place... it was warm, calm and sunny. we sat down and just enjoyed the sea, we could hear a seal barking in the distance. bliss~

back to real life, time to head to town, we are getting direct tv and scott needs to set up the wires, buy a tv and get things all ready for the man when he gets here in a couple of weeks. he will be rewiring, adding plugs, just doing boy things to make it go smoothly. me, i will be shopping the nurseries and loading the car up with cheap plants that will cause scott to blow a gasket as usual... oh, and throw in a cat tower to really make his blood boil :-) i had fun at costco, they have THE best plant prices~

i scored lots of plants for 2.29 on sale at lowes, was able to edge our property, would love to screen away the cattle. the car was so full we couldn't get any more crates, there is always next time!

home to fog, but not to terrible. scott worked on his tv plans, i can't even remember what i did, hows that for aging... i don't even know if i made a dinner, egads this is almost scary... i do know that i bought a new kindle book, i wanted a book on apples to tie in with all the apple posts i have coming, i just love books and pictures and food, its always my go to choice for creating, found the perfect book, about an apple farm in sonoma county that grows graventsteins. and since i just went to the fair, sounds perfect.

oh yippee, i remember my afternoon, i finished reading the boys in the boat with the kittens, it was very good!

8/18 sunday

woke up at 5am with a foggy recollection of scott being up from 1-3 am watching tv... i started to read my kindle in bed in the dark when out of the corner of my eye i saw clear skies before 6 am. i flew out of bed and instantly began planting all my new plants. its so rare to see sun that i am always eager to get out and enjoy it pronto. the cattle were screaming, i mean whaling, it was so disheartening, then of course the fog rolled in, which made the cows scream even louder. by the time scott was up the sun was just breaking in and out, we were just on the edge. i got everything planted but 2 trees and was so hungry time to make us a good breakfast.

mary had shared a wonderful blueberry cream cheese french toasty thing, today was the day... except i should have read the recipe, it is to sit overnight, plus it takes one hour to bake... its already 10 am and i am too hungry to handle any of this, i wanted to cry :-( i made it anyway, grabbed a nectarine and back into town we had to go, scott needed more boy things, and of course any trip to town means i am hitting the nurseries~

came home and baked up the french toast, but scott was also bbq-ing ribs and corn, yep we were having brunch, lunch and dinner all at once.

after stuffing ourselves scott went to back to his electrical work and i planted everything in sight, again... i freshened up the window boxes and gave the garden a good drink.

by 5 pm i am getting weak, i have been at it since 5:30 am, i was helping scott put up a wind screen on my new trees when i just said i quit... my thighs even hurt, who even feels those? i am just plain ole tired, i want to shower and crawl in bed with my apple book and call it day! but i can't... the sun is shining and perhaps i could even witness the sunset on the sea, its been ages that its been clear enough to see a horizon, its hazy fog and silver lighting, but the sun is still gold at 7 pm, its been so long i must celebrate it in the upright position~

it was wonderful, a brilliant ball of orange... good night!